Self-esteem journal

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.” —Robert Morley

Writing is a great way to keep your thoughts, ideas and challenges organized. And is never too late to start a personal journal, you can write about your emotions, feelings, new experiences, moods...anything you think of write it down. Writing can become a new challenge for yourself, but also can become a real good habit. Writing is a great exercise for you to express yourself.

BENEFITS OF WRITING A SELF-ESTEEM JOURNAL

🌼 BOOST YOUR SELF GROWTH

🌼 CREATES A DEEPER AND BETTER CONNECTION WITH YOUR EMOTIONS, THOUGHTS, GOALS AND VALUES

🌼 YOU BECOME MORE SELF CONSCIOUS

🌼 HELPS TO EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS

Putting “ED” on a chair: An eating disorder recovery exercise

Written by Francesca Bas

Often times when an eating disorder voice becomes strong one feels as if they are their eating disorder, that the eating disorder is a synonym for their identity … This is not the case, I promise.

I know at times it may feel this way but you are not your eating disorder, you are you a whole and beautiful person who happens to be struggling with an eating disorder in this moment of time.

The reason why it’s so important to differentiate from your eating disorder voice is because it’s impossible to heal from something you think you are, something you feel is a veil over your identity. So how are we going to differentiate you from the eating disorder, lets start with a little exercise which helps this separation visually.

I want you to close your eyes and visualize what it looks like, mine is a grumpy old bald man called ED. And yours? What does your ED look like is it tall? Small? Blue? Pink? Young? Old? Take your time really visualize an image of your ED.

You have it? Great now give it a name, make sure the name you decide is a neutral name to you, don’t name it after your best friend or a loved one. Now that you have your Eds whole image I want you to visualize it going from wherever you feel it in your body, maybe your chest, your stomach, your mind, veiling over you, wherever you feel ED is sitting visualize him moving to a chair next to you.

Congratulations you have now identified your ED and put him next to you instead of inside or on top of you. Now you can visually see that you are not your ED, and further you can now start to more easily differentiate when you are talking vs when your ED is talking.

But of course it’s not as simple as it sounds on the writing, healing is not linear. It takes time, consistency and a supportive team. Further there might be some times when you cannot differentiate who is talking, whether it’s you or your ED. That’s ok, it takes time. The hope for this exercise is the more you practice differentiating these voices the easier it will get and as the separation becomes clearer and clearer it will make the healing process just a little easier. It’s all about the little things, I hope this little thing makes a little, or big impact on helping you in your healing journey.

Self-compassion

Acknowledgments We are our own biggest critic, yes the old cheesy saying is true! Being critical of what you do isn’t always a bad thing, however when you judge your every action, constantly feel disappointed in yourself and feel like you are not worthy, this is a problem. If you are too harsh on yourself like me and many others I hope this article will help you see the importance of being gentle with yourself and empower you to be the most authentic (self-bullying free) version of you.

You expect a lot from yourself, this isn’t a bad thing in itself in fact quite the contrary this means somewhere deep down you know you are a badass and are capable of so much, lets help that voice grow more instead of the one that bullies you and tells you that you aren’t capable.

First let me start with giving you some compassion, it makes sense you feel this way. We live in a very competitive society which also puts us in competition with ourselves. Have you noticed how we consistently set expectations and goals for ourselves, and once they are met we don’t even take a moment to celebrate we just automatically put another bar, another goal or downplay our achievement. Or how when we do something good we barely acknowledge it but if we do something bad we bully ourselves for it extensively. It sucks right? The root of what causes this is also what will get us out of this vicious cycle.

Getting out of the vicious cycle

What if we started to put just as much attention and energy onto what we did good as we do in things we do bad? Imagine?

For example, image if when you get all your test grades back instead of torturing yourself over that one bad grade you celebrate and appreciate yourself for the amazing results you achieved in the other exams? Or instead of tormenting yourself over that one thing you missed in the meeting you focus on all the points you did make? I’m not telling you to pretend the bad don’t exist I’m just saying maybe putting more importance to the good will help the bad feel smaller and build your confidence, self-respect and self-appreciation. All things which will not only lead you to be happier, more self-compassionate, more successful but also will make you better at what you are trying to accomplish. Focusing on what we are doing well makes such a huge impact and difference in our life once we commit to this practice.

Self-compassion daily integrators

It’s okay: This bullying voice comes back because it loves the attention it gets. Sometimes the best thing to do is just to say “yes I do feel this way” let it out, with no judgments, acknowledge it and move on. Sometimes this minimizes the voice a bit and makes it less sticky in your brain.

Treat yourself as you would a friend: Think about the situation or thought pattern you were in as if it wasn’t yours but was a friends. What would you say to them? Would you be as judgmental? Would you feel it was as terrible?

Take space: Put these strong thoughts on a shelf, this does not mean pretend they are not there or get rid of them just put them on hold for a few hours so you can pick them back up with distance and a clearer mind.

Fact check: When your inner bully spiral begins ask yourself, is it really this bad? What’s actually the worst thing that can happen? Chances are the situation may not be as terrible as your mind is alluding you to think.

Use a growth instead of fixed mindset: A fixed mindset would be something like “I can’t do this”. Where as a growth mindset would be “I’ve never done this before, lets try to learn something new”.

Express gratitude to yourself: Think about the things you are doing well too. Sometimes when one bad thing happens we forget about all the good things that accompany it, think about those as well.

Finding a support person: I think having a coach or therapist is also so helpful, if you feel your inner critic voices are extremely loud it might be a good idea to get in contact with someone who can help you find a way to show a little more self compassion towards yourself.

Wishing you so much love and support

~Francesca Bas, ISA Power intern

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Looking for more inspiration after reading this article?

The book of compliments is a small inspiring book and is meant to be kept close. You will be asked interesting questions about your dreams, life, psychology, love and your purpose. There are empty pages in this book- where you can write - it somewhat feels like a small diary. This will be your personal collection of quotes, inspiration and motivation. Order the book here!

“Compliments are just like gifts, fun to give and fun to receive.” - Isabelle Plasmeijer

Eating disorders during pregnancy

Written by Francesca Bas

Hello future mama, you are incredible, and you are doing your best. Simply pressing on this article shows not only how much you want to heal and what a caring mom you will be, but marks the beginning of your recovery. I am so proud of you for seeking support.

Eating disorders are not a choice, they do no discriminate by age, gender, race or pregnancy.

Your struggle is real

Your struggle is valid

You deserve to heal

struggling with an eating disorder during pregnancy is particularly challenging. Often times eating disorders install shame and guilt in individuals suffering. When pregnant these negative feelings get amplified because of the important responsibility we feel of carrying life. This amplified shame can make reaching out for help feel so difficult, but reaching for help is the best thing you can do for you and your baby. Finding a support team who can help you through this difficult time and give you the support you need to not only get by in your pregnancy but be able to enjoy this beautiful stage and find healing within it.

Abstract: Throughout this article we will be going over some key terms regarding eating disorder during pregnancy such as “pregorexia” and “post-partum eating disorder”. Acknowledging some challenges which may occur during a pregnancy with an eating disorder, followed by some nutritional information regarding pregnancy and breast feeding and going through things you can do to feel better supported and seek help.

Background on eating disorders during pregnancy: Pregnancy can be very difficult on the body and mind especially for first time moms, hormones changes, anxiety, and changes to your body shape are just a few of the things which can make pregnancy challenging. Sometimes this can lead to stress and sadness which may amplify disordered thoughts for those previously or currently struggling with an eating disorder. Woman with a history of eating disorder are advised to be closely monitored through pregnancy by a medical professional and psychologist. For more medical information on what biologically happens in a pregnancy with an eating disorder click here.

Acknowledgments: Eating disorders, especially eating disorders during pregnancy are a big taboo in most societies. I want to let you know you are not alone. There are so many women right now who are struggling just the way you are. Before jumping into advice and what to do here are a few terms you may resonate with.

Pregorexia: Pregorexia is a relatively new term used by media to describe the wasn’t to control ones own pregnancy weight through extreme dieting and exercise.

Pregorexia is most common in woman who have struggled with an eating disorder in the past as the physical aspects of pregnancy for some woman can be triggering as some woman experience feeling less control of their body making the want for control trigger eating disorder thoughts. However, pregorexia can also manifest in woman who have never experienced any eating related issues in the past.
Some signs of pregorexia include

• Chronic calorie counting

• Overexercising

• Eating alone or skipping meals

• Maintaining pre pregnancy weight purposefully

• Excessive preoccupation of body growth, specifically the belly area

• Lack of energy

If you see yourself in these symptoms or description, please know you are not alone and there is no reason to be ashamed. The best thing you can do is seek help, perhaps start by talking with someone you trust, your partner, family member, close friend let them support you and help you find some medical professionals who can assist you through this hard time. To find out more about pregorexia click here.

Postpartum eating disorders: After the baby is born not only has your life completely changed but your body is now trying to rebalance and heal. Physically, hormonally and mentally, this leads many woman to feel unbalanced after pregnancy. Nearly 80% of new moms experience the “baby blues”. The baby blues is a temporary 3 day to 14 day feeling of sadness, anxiety, lack of sleep, wordiness and some other unpleasant feelings. This is normal you’ve just created a life and now have this new forever person you will take care of and your body has gone through right about the most challenging thing a body can do. Although baby blues are extremely normal for woman who have previously struggled with eating disorders or any other mental illness the baby blues can bring about some triggering feelings. These feelings can make folks more vulnerable to relapse. Make sure during this time you have a good support system around you and engage in self-care.

Unlike the baby blues “post partem depression” is a more serious issue which needs close paying attention to and requires professional help. Post partem depression consists of similar symptoms of the baby blues but these symptoms are heightened and last longer. If you are struggling with post partem you may find yourself wanting to disattach from your baby, you may have anxiety which prevents you from sleeping and you may begin to experience overwhelming feelings of guilt, fear, anxiety and sadness. If you suspect you may be struggling with postpartum it is essential you speak with a medical prelesional to help guide you through this hard time, bond with your baby and help you get to a place where you start to feel more balance.

Nutrition during pregnancy and breast feeding: When you are pregnant nutrition becomes more important then ever, for you and your babies safety and health.

Importance of nutrition during pregnancy: A baby’s development is very delicate, each month and stage of a pregnancy brings an essential new step to the baby’s growth. The key to insure all these stages are properly met is nutrition. A well-balanced diet for a pregnant woman includes an abundance of carbohydrates, protein, fruits, vegetables, fats and to fulfill all the cravings you and your baby may have. To learn more about nutrition during your pregnancy it is best to seek out professional assistance from a dietitian. If you want to know some more general information regarding nutrition during pregnancy click here (Trigger warning, this medical article suggested contains content which may be triggering to some such as calories)

Importance of nutrition for breastfeeding: A balanced nutrition is essential for you and your baby throughout pregnancy and post pregnancy particularly if you decide to breast feed. .Breast feeding whilst struggling with an eating disorder particularly anorexia may not be the best option for your baby as your breast milk carries fewer of the essential nurturance your neonate will need. When deciding to breastfeed it is important to be assured you are eating in abundance and have the proper nutrition your baby will need.

Neonates born to mothers with eating disorders are more likely to be underweight and have still birth complication. If you were struggling with an eating disorder during or after your pregnancy it is necessary after birth you speak with a health care professional on how to best support your baby’s nutrition.

The importance of reaching out for help / How can I reach out?

Eating disorders can be so hard to talk about, opening up about the struggle is so hard because of all the self shame, the fear of letting go of the eating disorder and because eating disorders are not logical. They are challenging to understand and explain. This is why its essential that you open up in a safe place with a safe person you feel comfortable with, a person you know will try to understand and support you. This could be any loved one or perhaps a doctor, therapist or any other supporter you currently have who you feel safe with. This initial step is hard, extremely hard. But taking this first step will not only mark the beginning step of disatsching from your eating disorder but the beginning of you getting to live your life fully. Recovery will bring you energy, fulfillment, enjoyment, balance and help you bond with your beautiful baby and family. You are so worthy of recovery, you are so worthy of living your life fully not because you’re a mom, a wife, a person with responsibility’s. No, you deserve to heal simply for existing on this earth and because you are you.

Things you can do:

• Practice body neutrality

• Don’t diet

• Give thanks to your body for being able to create this amazing life
  

  And give affirmations/ pledges to yourself. A few example of affirmations could include

• I will listen to my body’s needs

• I will not measure my worth by a number on the scale

• I will treat myself with kindness and respect

• I will reach out for support because it is what’s best for me and my baby

Try making a similar list full of affirmations which impower you.

Encouragements: Falling pregnant along with an eating disorder is not easy, however pregnancy can also hold the key to set you free. In order to heal in your pregnancy, It is crucial that in this period you invest time in yourself through self-care, therapy as well as through connecting with your body. During pregnancy you are in some way forced to feel your body more so then ever and in a completely different way, there are little feet that dance in your belly, a powerful heart that beat together with yours and so many changes in your perception of flavors and smells. Making you connect with your body in a completely different way, this different way of feeling your body despite carrying with it some challenges can also carry a new perspective and unexpected key to recovery. These things your body is feeling can make your intuition stronger, the more you follow this intuition the more natural it becomes to follow and the more quite the eating disorder becomes.

Statements from women who have struggled with an eating disorder during pregnancy:

“When pregnant often one feels so much more power because you are literally growing a life inside of you, if that’s not strength then I don’t know what is.” ~ Anonymous

“ I believe pregnancy holds a huge gift for women that are struggling with eating disorders. An opportunity to open the ED prison and flying out of that brutal sneaky cage.” ~ Adriana Caliri

Disclaimer: All information resourced from scholarly articles and personal stories, if you are interested to know more about these resources please feel free to click on the sources listed through the text and in the bibliography.

All pregnancies are so unique, if you see yourself in any of the things spoken about in this article please don’t jump to conclusions on self-diagnosing, rather take it as a sign to seek help from a medical professional.

Sources:

• The Impact of Maternal Eating Disorders on Dietary Intake and Eating Patterns during Pregnancy: A Systematic Review

• The Importance of Pregorexia Awareness

• Pregnancy nutrition knowledge and experiences of pregnant women and antenatal care clinicians: A mixed methods approach

• Eating Disorders

• Nutrition During Pregnancy: Stanford childrens health

Intuitive eating: what is it?

“Intuitive eating is giving your body the nutrients, energy along with pleasure and satisfaction it needs to thrive each day, to cultivate trust and respect with your body once again”

~Claire Ball

What is intuitive eating?

Intuitive eating is tuning into your body and listening to when and what your body asking you for. Embracing that some days your body might need more fuel (food) than others. When you truly start to listen to your body you will not only have more energy and less anxiety each day but you will also:

• Foster a mind-body connection

• Teach your body to trust you again

• Stop thinking about food all-day

• Enhance self esteem

• Notice less anxiety around food

And many more unique benefits which you will unveil.

Entuitive eating isn’t for everyone, who is and isn’t it for?

Who is it for?

intuitive eating is for folks who have a more natural view of food, self-image, who are at a safe place with their physical vitals and weight.

Who isn’t it for?

If this is not you right now embrace that your relationship to food may have to start a little more structured before getting to intuitive eating. If you are in your first stages of recovering from an eating disorder (ED) intuitive eating may not be the best option for your body and mind right now. First, we have to get your body at a safe place and a place where your body can be in touch once again with the natural hunger ques if you are in the beginning stages of recovery. These hunger ques may be a little skewed currently. Often in beginning stages of recovery some structure and help from a dietitian are necessary. Once your beautiful body is balanced again that's when your intuitive eating journey can start.

When can you start intuitive eating in Eating disorder recovery?

Something that helped me on my intuitive eating journey (which was a long transition from anorexia recovery meal plans to slowly intuitive eating) was embracing that in the first transition of a meal plan to a more intuitive way of eating, your body may want abundant foods, THIS IS NORMAL! This happens because your body is learning to trust that you will give it enough fuel and in cases of recovering from Anorexia nervosa all this fuel will be going into restoring your internal organs and bone density which requires a lot of fuel to do.

Key elements of intuitive eating people often overlooked

1. Mental Hunger: Intuitive eating is not only eating when your body is hungry intuitive eating is also about honoring your mental hunger, when your craving cake, when your friends offer you baked goods that look yummy. This is also apart of intuitive eating.

2. Setting yourself up for success: The goal of intuitive eating is making a mind-body connection and truly honoring your body's need for food. This means if you know there are certain situations that skew your hunger ques. For example, if you know when you are under stress you tend to lose your appetite making sure you set yourself up for success by meal prepping, making sure meals are easily available so you can give your body the fuel it needs.

3. Day by day: Intuitive eating will look different each and every day, your body will want different foods and quantities each day, this is normal. Our bodies are so smart and it's important we listen to them so they can do all the behind the screen work to make sure we are healthy and full of energy.

4. No good or bad foods: Food is not good or bad, if you are recovering from an eating disorder you may hold some strong views of good and bad foods. Strive to challenge these rigid rules and remind yourself it is healthy to listen to your body and eat what it wishes whether that would be a rice bowl, a cake, or a pizza. When you are at a balanced place physically and mentally intuitive eating is an amazing lifestyle and truly teaches you to trust your body and lets your body know it can trust you.  Take care of yourself today and remember to give your beautiful body the fuel it's asking for.

Sending you all lots of love and positive energy!

Article written by : Francesca Bas ISA Power intern

10 Instant anxiety reducing tools

Written by Francesca Bas

Anxiety, something many of us experience. Anxiety is your body’s natural response to a stressful situation. Anxiety is a very normal and healthy emotion in many cases, it sometimes even helps us keep safe, for example if you are in a dangerous situation anxiety kicks in to help you with your flight or flight instinct and stimulate action.

However, for some people anxiety is an extremely unpleasant and devastating experience. Anxiety can cause unpleasant outcome for people with eating disorders (ED), addiction, and Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Anxiety can often be very triggering, and make it difficult not to act upon your ED voice, addiction or flashbacks.

Through this blog I want to reach some people who feel their anxiety sometimes holds them back or brings them back to a scary state of mind by giving you some small tips which could help you reduce your anxiety in the moment.

Acknowledgments:

I like to think of anxiety being on a 1-10 sliding scale 1 being no anxiety and 10 being the worst mental and emotional stress you could imagine.

These tips have helped me and many others in the 1-8 range especially. However, when surpassing 8 it’s important to be gentle on yourself, calming techniques you typically use may not work when you’re feeling extreme amounts of anxiety. THIS IS NORMAL. When you are feeling this extreme anxiety do whatever you feel may help, if it’s one of these tips we will be talking about or something you’ve previously used, amazing. But if you just have to distract yourself, go to sleep, put on a show, or go on a walk go for it, whatever will make you feel a bit safer.

Practice:

I remember when I was healing from my ED anxiety would knock at my door often, the problem with this anxiety was it would get so loud in my head, it would make it practically impossible for me to continue on the path to recovery and not listen to my ed voice. I know this was a very big issue for me and so through the years I found some in the moment anxiety reducing tools I use every day, these have reduced my anxiety in the moment significantly and made my ED voice lessen drastically, so. Let’s get into It.

10 Instant anxiety reducing tools

1 - BREATHE: When you breathe deeply it sends messages to your brain to calm down, so finding a breath you like to add in your tool box can be extremely helpful in moments of anxiety. Some breathing practices which help include:

• Grounding breath: ground your feet on the floor, sit up straight breathe in through your nose, hold then out through your mouth, do this 3-10 times.

• Diaphragmatic breathing: breathing from your abdomen instead of your chest. This kind of breathing promotes a deeper breath and brings more oxygen to your lungs.

• Box breathing: Breathe in for 4 seconds hold 4 breathe out 4 hold 4.

• Alternate nostril breath: Breathe in through your right nostril gently closing your left, hold, breathe out through your left nostril gently closing your right.

2 - Admit your anxious: Feeling anxious is an overwhelming feeling and in the moment, it feels the anxiety is vailing over everything! Naming to yourself “oh this is anxiety” can help you realize this feeling is temporary which will lead to less catastrophizing and ultimately leaving you a little more balanced and calmer.

3 - Challenge your thoughts: I find challenging your thoughts to be particularly helpful when you’re getting anxious about something in the future. For example, lets say tomorrow you are going to a lunch, the food you’re going to have is a fear food and eating out can be a little triggering. This usually leads us to roommate over this thought and catastrophizing it so much that we may cancel the lunch or feel more anxious in the moment of the lunch because of this build up. But if instead when we start feeling anxious about the lunch we would have reacted differently like “ oh this lunch is making me feel nervous but maybe this won’t be as bad as I think, I might be very hard but also I might be surprised and it could be smoother then I think” Be open to the possibility of things not to be as hard as you think they might be.

4 - Confide or spend time with loved one: Often times I’m moments of anxiety we feel alone also, when we don’t open up to people we sometimes make the anxiety grow to extremes because we are catastrophizing in our mind. When we open up to a safe person such as a family member, loved one or therapist we can be reminded that we are not alone and get a bit of help seeing clearer. If you are in a space where opening up sounds overwhelming it can also be very helpful just to be with a safe person without even talking about the problem. For example calling your best friend and saying “hey it’s a hard day I don’t really want to talk about it but it would be super helpful for me to just be around you”. This way you let the loved one know you are in a challenging space so they are gentle but simultaneously let them know you don’t want to talk about it just be loved or distracted.

5 - Write it out: If being with another person sounds unachievable, writing it out can have similar benefits. Writing is also a way to express how you are feeling and through writing you can understand more clearly whats happening, how you are feeling and how-to sooth yourself.

5 Senses for calming anxiety

1.     (6) - Sight: Sight can help balance and bring you back to the present, focus on what’s around you, what do you see? What colors are most prominent, the plants in your room, the sight outside your window focus on what you see here and now.

2.     (7) - Hearing: Similar to sight but this time close your eyes and try to hear what’s around you. People walking in the house, birds chirping, cars engines outside. What can you here?

3.     (8) - Touch: Touch objects around you, focus on them a rock on your window, your stuffed animal, a pillow. Feel those objects centering all your attention on them. Do they feel hard, soft, smooth, rigged? Try engaging all of your thoughts to this.

4.     (9) - Smell: What do you smell now? Cooking coming from the kitchen?, a fresh mode lawn bring your attention to those scents, further if you have some essential oils, lavender, moisturizer, perfume put those around you and treat your nose with some calming senses.

5.     (10) - Taste: Is these something around you can safely drink or eat?, Tea, Water a chocolate If yes try mindfully tasting these flavors, “This chocolate tastes particularly creamy, the flavors are explosive, I love the way this tastes” If there isn’t anything around to taste focus on the natural taste which lives in your mouth.

I hope some of these tips serve you and help ease your anxiety instantly

~Francesca Bas

Letting numbers go

Gaining control of recovery by letting go of numbers

Control. Something most of us desire, studying hard in school to get that dream job, looking a little extra nice to get that girls attention. These are examples of healthy and normal manifestations of control. However, too much control ironically enough leaves us with less control then how we started. Eating disorders (ED’s) are an example of this ED’s often stem from wanting control. The illusion of control ED’s presents may start out small adding a few rules here and there with a sprinkle of guilt. But the more you listen to the ED the more power you give it, the more rules it creates and the more control it gets. Leaving you with no control, ED’s are sneaky this way. They disguise and introduce themselves as if they were giving you control when in reality as time progresses, we realize we have been put behind bars, quite the contrary of control.

Presenting themselves a little like this: “you will have control over food.” There are rules to distract you and compensating behaviors to keep your mind occupied. Frequently, people in ED recovery get riveted by planning how they are going to recover whilst still holding on to control. Controlling in ways like obsessing over recovery meal plans, being able to recite to you exactly when they will have to eat, what, and how much. This stems from fear, anxiety, and the sense that more knowledge leads to better control. Having this much control over meal plans and other aspects of recovery is a slippery slope that may lead back into an ED. 

Again, folks with eating disorders often love control and rules, so it makes sense they want to know extensively about things like meal plans and numbers, right?

“If I know what I'm going to eat, I’ll be less anxious, when I'm less anxious I feel more in control and can better achieve my goals.” 

A feeling I know so well, I started recovering from anorexia nervosa when I was sixteen, however in my first year of recovery, I made it my priority to know exactly what I was putting into my body, when, and how much. I genuinely thought this sense of control surrounding my meal plans was making me heal. This made me feel like although I was trying to let go of my ED I could remain in control. Let me tell you - although that year was the beginning mark of wanting to recover, I did a very little recovery. This is because I was still attached to the control, the numbers. Simply returning to normal weight or eating a certain amount does not equate to recovery. When I started letting go of my control surrounding food is when my true healing began, it’s not easy but it is so worth it, I believe in you and I know you can do it.

When we start recovery, we come from a place where our relationship to food is not the best and our hunger ques a little squid. You will regain a good relationship to food, and you will be able to eat what and you’re your body tells you; I believe in you. But before getting to that point it’s important to first build a stable relationship to food. This may take some time and that’s ok, it’s about one step at a time, one fear food, one meal at a time. Each one will not only bring you closer to recovery but build a friendship with your body where you can have trust with one another and regain hunger fullness and mind body hunger signals.

Recovery is not a numbers game

Eating disorders as we mentioned often stem from wanting control, right? So, the food and the physical are a mere consequence of the root of the issue. So only focusing on the numbers the food intake and number on the scale they don’t work at the root of ED. So, what if instead of asking questions about numbers we ask ourselves and our helpers (your coach, psychologist, or mum or dad or….) why do I want to recover, ask yourself and write it down. I know it might be hard but take a minute and try.

Welcome come back, this, whatever it is that you wrote, this is how you are going to recover. It all stems from you, you are in control of your recovery, let yourself be in control of your recovery by letting go of triggering questions that will make you stumble down the stairs like hyper-focusing on meal plans and workouts. Instead, ask yourself questions that make you keep going higher and higher like the one you just wrote now.

One day my therapist looked at me and said: “where do you see yourself 10 years from now?”

I proceeded to tell her my dream life full of adventures, success, family, love, friends, fun, traveling. She looked at me and said, that sounds beautiful, that life is waiting for you patiently. But, do you think you can achieve this life without letting go of the control your ED has over you? My answer was ‘no’ and this is where I started my true recovery and my true healing.

No more quazi recovery

I realized I had to let go of my numbers, of my control. So, no more limbo recovery for me. This was not easy, it felt like breaking up with a toxic boyfriend I had been dating for years. I use this metaphor of the toxic boyfriend because I'm sure most of you can relate to letting go of a toxic relationship in your life, whether it was a friendship or a romantic relationship, it probably wasn't easy, it likely took a lot of courage, of bravery and there was most likely a morning period. Not because you thought you should have kept that person in your life, but rather because you grew attached to them, they became a so called (dis)comfort in the home we call our mind and a staple in our life. Despite it being hard to let go of these people, how much better do you feel now? How much more empowered? How much more in control of leading a happy life? It is the same when we let go of our ED.

Recovery is not always easy, it can be frustrating but I promise it’s the most worth it path you will take, and letting go of numbers is one of the most essential keys to unlock to door of long-term recovery, you deserve it.

Article written by : Francesca Bas ISA Power intern

On the waiting list, isn't the wait too long?

 This article was written by Tessa, Volunteer at ISA Power

The step has finally been taken. The most courageous step that can be taken. You ask for help. Or maybe you ask for help for someone close to you who still finds this step too difficult. Either way, asking for (and accepting) help is the start to recovery.

All the while you thought you were going to make it on your own and that it would go away on its own. The eating disorder can control you to such an extent that this seems reality, that you actually believe it yourself and continue to postpone any help. It takes so much courage and honesty to tell someone you know it won't go away on its own.

You’re eating disorder will speak to you; “How weak that you cannot do it alone. Others can't help you, they don't understand you anyway. In a while you will really stop. It's not that bad. What do you expect. ”

Maybe you’re eating disorder speaks to you in a different way. However, you are addressed. the eating disorder just wants to make you insecure. The eating disorder is afraid of losing you. The fact that you have taken the step to ask for help. You don't want this anymore. You don't want to live by the rules of the eating disorder anymore. You want to be free! Be proud of yourself! Asking for help is very strong. You listen to your heart, what you want, and not the will of the eating disorder.

Unfortunately, the will you have can be thwarted by the long waiting lists. The doctor will tell you that it is wise to seek professional help, you may be referred to a clinic. After you have had your first meeting with a pounding heart, you will be told that you cannot immediately start treatment. Fright! You might not have expected that at all! Just when you had gathered all the courage and the feeling that you were really ready for it now. How should you continue to follow it in the coming months? Your good hope is immediately wiped out.

Unfortunately, the long waiting times are all too common. On average, waiting times at mental health institutions and clinics vary from a few weeks to a few months. Often the reasons are; staff shortage and too few places (see source 1). Young people in particular need to be very patient. On average, young people wait about 10 weeks for help. First four weeks for an intake and then 6 weeks for a first session. In practice, however, it often happens that the waiting times can sometimes last from months to a year. Municipalities receive money from the government to care for young people up to the age of eighteen within the municipality. Unfortunately, there are also significant cuts in youth care, which means that too few specialist treatments are purchased. But the waiting lists for psychological help for adults are also long (see source 2). The long waiting lists are worrisome. It is important that appropriate help is provided as soon as possible with psychological complaints. The sooner this help comes, the greater the chance of recovery.

The most important thing for the period when you are waiting for help is to share your feelings and thoughts. It can make you angry, or it may take away your motivation for recovery. "Then they'll figure it out too," "Then let it be," these thoughts feed your eating disorder and can cause you to retreat back into your own world. On the other hand, it can also feel like a relief. The eating disorder can continue for a while. Please do not be tempted by the thoughts that you can now just lose "extra" weight, eat a lot or perform other destructive actions. Immediately try to see the step you took to ask for help as a new way. You go for it! With or without waiting list, your recovery starts now!

As difficult as it is, try to maintain the will to recover. Try to gain strength from the feeling that deep down you want to be free again. Ask a loved one in your area to support you in bridging this difficult time with you. Maybe you can work out some sort of plan together to ensure that the situation does not deteriorate in the near future. Investigate whether there are other (short-term) possibilities in your environment that can give you some relief in the situation. It may be an option to seek (interim) help from separate practices, care providers or agencies. They often do not have waiting lists, so you will get the help you are looking for in the meantime. You can also always talk to your doctor. This can help you to provide other forms of help or support if you have to wait a long time (see resource 2).

In addition, you can use the coming period to list everything you encounter for yourself. The more you write down about yourself, your actions and thoughts, the better your practitioner will be able to help you later. A treatment is always an interaction between the practitioner and yourself. The practitioner alone cannot cure you, he or she can only provide you with the tools to get started yourself. The more you open up and share about what is going on in you, the faster your recovery can go.

What helped me a lot is to organize and write down all my complaints. Sometimes my thoughts were so mixed up and it was a jumble of complaints and problems that I could not organize. Many things had a connection, but in my head it was a great chaos. What may seem and feel small to you, may be of great significance during your treatment. Try to be honest and not be ashamed. A practitioner will not judge and will be grateful for your courage to be open. By putting everything on paper, you have a kind of overview during your intake and therapy with which you can possibly link certain complaints, thoughts and feelings. When you can make connections for yourself, it is easier to get the right treatments or help. You can also always talk to your doctor. This can help you to provide other forms of help or support if you have to wait a long time (see resource 2.)

Be proud, hold on and don't give up! Even if it will take a while, the most important thing is that you have taken the step. The step to freedom, in your head, in your body, in your heart

1. source: https://www.rtlnieuws.nl/nieuws/politiek/artikel/4682221/zorg-anorexia-op-de-schop-iedereen-voelt-dat-het-zo-niet-langer-kan?fbclid=IwAR3yYaP7AB0rXTqv4HL5Laq71yVD1nfhrJ_c9CrTpylIjTaA8_ShP7fe7ZA

2. source: https://www.npo3fm.nl/nieuws/tussenuur/375407-waarom-zijn-de-wachtlijsten-in-de-ggz-eigenlijk-zo-lang

Cabinet comes up with an approach against anorexia

The government wants to significantly reduce the number of seriously ill young people with an eating disorder - especially anorexia - over the next ten years. There will be two special knowledge centers for tackling eating disorders and a method will be drawn up to feed patients less under duress. Parents of anorexic patients are relieved. "My daughter was on a waiting list for 18 weeks."

An eating disorder can develop into an unbeatable disease, resulting in death in about ten percent of cases. A quarter of young women do not recover. They end up in a tough assistance process. In the worst cases, patients must even be forcibly kept alive through a tube of food or fluids.

A group of experts in the field of eating disorders (K-EET) has drawn up an action plan at the request of Minister De Jonge (Public Health). It describes how we can "significantly" reduce the number of young people at risk of death from these conditions within ten years. The Minister of Health shares this ambition, he reports today in a letter to Parliament: "I want a structural improvement of the entire chain of care for children and young people with eating disorders, in particular anorexia nervosa."

Broader target audience

In 2020, two regional expertise centers for eating disorders will be set up as a pilot. In 2021, the minister wants to expand this initiative to several centers for a broader target group. Consider, for example, young people with a disorder in the autistic spectrum, who have developed diseases such as anorexia as a result. Now a common complaint among parents is that these patients do not receive tailor-made help, which only worsens their conditions.

Minister De Jonge also finds it very important that a new working method is drawn up with agreements about the use of compulsion (nutrition) in eating disorders. "Force feeding is the very last step that we should avoid as much as possible."

In despair

Saskia Schnitzler is happy with the cabinet plan. She went through it all four years ago: a teenage daughter with eating problems and the desperate struggle to keep Anne alive until professional help was finally available. She thinks it is "desperately necessary" that two knowledge centers will be established. “Taking action faster can prevent an awful lot of problems. Now you still have to deal with such long waiting times. Our daughter was on a waiting list for 18 weeks before professional help was available. After such a time you do not start with the psychological help, then you are initially only concerned with physical help. You start with such a delay in fighting the disease. "

And that while both daughter Anne (now 21) and her parents were there so quickly in the summer of 2015. “Anne came to us at a very early stage: that her head was full of strange thoughts about eating, about losing weight ... And that she needed help. We immediately went to the doctor and he immediately diagnosed: anorexia nervosa. Same day! And it still takes eighteen weeks after that before you are eligible for specialized help. ”

Recognize

The K-EET experts write in their advice: "Children and young people with a (potential) eating disorder should be recognized earlier, better understood and treated earlier and better. We really want a decrease in the number of seriously ill patients. Early recognition and treatment leads to less suffering and fewer social costs. "

For example, there must be hospital beds spread across the country that are intended for patients with eating disorders. Furthermore, expert centers should be set up for identification, to map out shortages in regional care, to train care providers and to provide second opinions on the clinical pictures. Knowledge about a condition such as anorexia must also be shared via a national network.

An amount of 11.5 million euros will be made available in 2020 for the expertise centers for young people with multiple (eating) disorders due to an amendment to the law by GroenLinks. An amount of 26 million has been reserved on a fixed basis in the following years.

Hell

For Saskia Schnitzler's family, the eighteen weeks on the waiting list were hell. A period in which the parents had to watch helplessly as the anorexia got hold of Anne. “We tried everything, recognized the problem, knocked on everything. But the big point is: if there is no unambiguous plan of action on what should be done, the anorexia is allowed to take hold. For us, it was a matter of taking it easy. From: if you don't want to eat one, just a rice cake. Don't you want to drink? Then just a little bit of water, as long as you drink something. You are in the process of keeping your daughter alive. It shouldn't have been two weeks longer. ”

The most important tip she has for other parents: “You have to learn to distinguish between the good, sweet side of your daughter's brain and the moment when the anorexia takes over as a black shadow. Then our daughter just changed completely: then it was screaming, we were called names for everything, as if a witch came forward. You have to teach yourself not to argue with that, communicate clearly, of: "No, I know it's difficult and scary, but that's how we're going to do it."

What does the coronavirus do to the mental health of someone with an eating disorder?

Never before have numbers had such an impact on our lives. Yet everyone experiences the corona crisis differently. One person is very worried and quickly gets stressed, the other sits quietly at home and enjoys the peace and quiet and waits until everything has blown over a bit. One no longer visits his parents and the other still pays a weekly visit.

Daily routine is dropped

Suddenly a new situation has arisen that is uncertain for many people. And what about people who have an eating disorder? How bad is the corona crisis for them? It is important that we do not underestimate the impact that the virus and measures against it have on our health. The loss of a daily routine for someone without an eating disorder can have a huge impact on daily life. Let alone someone with an eating disorder.

Pediatrician Annemarie van Bellegem of Amsterdam UMC, specialized in eating disorders, says that in this corona crisis there is a lot of pressure on a child's life. "You have to have a certain predisposition to develop an eating disorder, but external factors also act as a trigger." It makes sense that when there is fear in the environment, young people try to control things they can say about, such as eating and exercising.

Social media is becoming a tormentor

Young people are constantly at home, they feel "locked up", are no longer distracted from school, and can no longer meet up with friends. Young people feel socially isolated, extremely lonely and powerless. The isolation and the increase in the use of social media can have a reinforcing effect and can lead to copied behavior. Annelie Temmink, an experienced expert in the field of eating disorders, says that it is very logical that young people are so "concerned". “When I was in my eating disorder myself, when I was bored, I would pick up my phone and spend hours scrolling all kinds of sites and pages depicting people with 'the ideal body'. This caused a lot of insecurity about my own body. ” Thoughts like, "Why don't I have such a beautiful skin or such an interesting life?" And "Why am I not as thin as all those models? Is there anything good or beautiful about me at all? " are common in adolescents with an eating disorder. These kinds of thoughts are really harmful to young people who are still developing.

Strong increase in 'eat and drink refusers'

Healthcare providers are seeing a sharp increase in the number of patients with eating disorders who stop eating and drinking altogether. In the past quarter, the Amsterdam UMC had at least fifteen young patients aged eight years and older who did not want to eat or drink anything anymore. Last year there was only one. Without direct evidence, there is a suspicion that there is a relationship with the corona crisis. Previous research has shown that the lack of structure and limited range of motion aggravate symptoms. (GGZ News, 2020)

Long waiting times

Although young people's situations are often acute, there is a long waiting time for admissions to hospital or a clinic. Alarm bells are ringing everywhere about the increasing number of young people with an eating disorder who need help since the onset of the corona crisis. “The care for these young patients is very intensive and at the same time the care system is already under enormous pressure due to the corona crisis” (GGZ Nieuws, 2020). If the influx continues like this, young people will have to be admitted more to clinics to keep an eye on them. For young people waiting two to four months for an intake interview, and then waiting for therapy, is really a very long time. During that time, someone can go downhill enormously. Prompt treatment of these young people is essential because the younger the age, the greater the havoc the eating disorder can wreak. In many cases, there is a dramatic case of weight loss that really gets the body into trouble. In that case, admission is necessary to prevent young people from becoming more ill or even dying (and this is not even an exception).

K-EET helps bridge waiting times

Fortunately, Isabelle Plasmeyer (founder of ISA Power) has developed a program in collaboration with K-EET Chain Approach to Eating Disorders. On the website www.stopmetwachten.nl you will find a free online series for people who struggle with an eating disorder.

In this series, Isabelle talks about the function of the eating disorder and the fear and resistance to recovery. She also talks about the biggest limiting beliefs that stand in the way of your recovery, the function of the brain and how you can really change. There are also many videos in which coaches by experience have the floor or talk about their recovery.

Missed the podcast? Click hear to listen

Tips for dealing with your eating disorder, at the time of the coronavirus

It's understandable that you’re eating disorder, especially during the corona crisis, may have grown stronger or become more heavily present. It's a crazy time for everyone with bizarre consequences. You may have developed a fear of getting infected, suffer from depression or other symptoms. If you sit at home alone a lot, you may feel lonely. It may also be that, because your roommates are at home a lot right now, you become more frustrated because they don't fully understand your eating disorder. Or maybe you miss your friends with whom you can chat so much, making you feel understood. Either way, for many people it's hard not to have a handle on things. We all don't know how long this situation will last and that creates uncertainty. We understand that this can be, so we want to help you a little.

How can you deal with food in this difficult situation?

Food is our fuel, our energy to keep the processes in our body going. We need food. Cars don't move without gas. And the same goes for food to our body. Unfortunately, it is not as simple as it seems. Eating makes you feel unhappy. Eating can be linked to certain emotions such as stress or boredom in times of Corona. So, what if food makes you unhappy?

Speak up

The fact that you are reading this article is already very good. Have you mentioned anything about it to your parents? Your sibling? Your best friend? If not, try that, it is important to keep communicating about something that is making you unhappy at the moment.

Some tips for you that you can start right away:

1.     Write down your thoughts and feelings that you have about your body.

2.     Discover (and write down) the situations when you reach for food or when you avoid food.

3.     Find information about your eating disorder that can help you better understand what's going on with you.

4.     Discuss thoughts you have about yourself with someone. Know: it's totally okay, it can be there, don't be ashamed, you're not weird.

5.     Find distraction, what do you enjoy doing? Or try something new ... solve puzzles or create a drawing.

6.     Find contact with fellow sufferers. Under the heading 'our buddies' on our website, you will find stories about people who have gone through the same thing as you. Realize that you are not alone!

7.     Do you think you have an eating disorder but you do not know which one? Do not hesitate to contact the expert coaches of ISA Power!

8.     Seek professional help, take your thoughts seriously. Even at the time of Corona, we are here for you. The sooner you ask for help, the greater the chance of recovery!

It's all about the balance baby!

Suffering from gloomy thoughts about yourself, your situation or your body is annoying. Yet you can learn to accept your thoughts and fill them with positivity and find balance. Make room in your head for positive emotions. Negative thoughts are also just allowed to be there, and you don't have to ignore it either, but positivity means learning to accept and deal with negative thoughts. Stay positive and speak your thoughts, positive or negative, just like that! You can do this!

Why is it important to have a healthy mindset?

"Picture your brain forming new connections as you meet the challenge and learn. Keep on going."
— Carol Dwek

Giving the importance, priority and taking a good care of our mental health, helps us to reach a better state of mind in the long term, and improves our mental health, so we can enjoy life and cope with new challenges in our life better. Giving us a feeling of well-being and inner strength.

That’s why it is so important that we put in practice positivity exercises, to maintain an active brain, accepting new challenges and visualizing positivity. Allowing positive thoughts can heal our mind and body, and can help us to cope with new goals and challenges in our life.

5 KEY ELEMENTS

for a healthy mindset

CALM CLARITY COMPASSION COURAGE CONCENTRATION

CALM

The ability to calm your mind when you are under pressure or challenging new obstacles is crucial to a healthy mindset. Calmness comes when you bring awareness to what’s happening or what’s about to happen and what you are thinking.

CLARITY

Having a clear idea of what’s important to you is key to dealing with indecision. Get clear on your priorities, goals you want to achieve, new challenges in your life and values to help remove the over- whelm that comes from uncertainty.

COMPASSION

One of the biggest contributors to an unhealthy mindset is a lack of compassion towards yourself. Be kind to yourself, love yourself and focus less on how you compare others. Focus on what matters for you. You are priority number one.

CONCENTRATION

Concentration is about commitment and dedication to your- self. Keep your focus on your own goals, challenges and what’s important to you, rather than distractions, and other things that don’t matter.

COURAGE

When you procrastinate and avoid taking action, you stay stuck in the same place you have always been. Find the courage to take action even If you don’t feel ready. It might take some time, but remember new habits always take time, ask for help, or for some- one who wants to join you in this new journey.

Unsplash, Ivana Cajina

Daily positive affirmations to boost your self-esteem

“Positivity always wins…Always.” —Gary Vaynerchuk

Think positively and you will attract positive things to you.

Source: Unsplash.com, Esther Driehaus

🌸 I have the power to control my thoughts!

🌸 I am at peace with my body!

🌸 I am strong, I am brave!

🌸 By being happy with myself, I bring happiness to others!

🌸 I am confident!

🌸 I can achieve any goal!

🌸 I choose to be myself, I choose to be happy!

🌸 I am grateful!

🌸 I am proud of who I am becoming !

🌸 I am positive and I attract positivity!

HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR “HEALTHY SELF-TALK”

“Be thankful for each new challenge because it will build your strength and character.” — Anonymous

Source: Unsplash.com, Ben White

Let’s think for a second, have we ever realized the way that we talk to ourselves? If for a minute we pay attention, and we listen to our thoughts, we might be surprised with the amount of negative thoughts and self-talk that goes on.

The way we talk to ourselves has an impact on our mental health as our body and heart hears everything that our mind says, and our mind believe the words and thoughts that feed it with.

Changing the way we talk to ourselves, and challenging your thoughts and negative self-talk can be rough but you know you can make this change, this is your new challenge.

It takes time, and patience but the fact that you are ready and willing to take the step and change, shows the courage and power you are.

HEALTHY SELF-TALK “You live the words you tell yourself in your mind.” — Dr. Magdalena Battles

How to put in practice “HEALTHY SELF-TALK” Let’s start with some helpful tricks. Positive self-talk is common useful for when we are feeling down and it can help us to feel better about ourselves and strengths. Next time you doubt about yourself, or you are having a rough day, or maybe you don’t feel well or you feel your are not enough, remember this:

TURN YOUR NEGATIVE THOUGHTS OFF AND TURN YOUR POSITIVE THOUGHTS ON!

TURN ON

I allow myself to make mistakes.

I am enough, and I’m worthy too.

I’ve got this! I can make it happen!

I love myself!

Unsplash.com, Catherine Mcmahon

TURN OFF

I hate myself./Nobody likes me.

I’m not good enough.

I give up! I can’t do this.

I hate myself./Nobody likes me.

The power of positive thinking

Practice “growing” positive thoughts

Source: Unsplash.com, Terry Tan de Hao

“The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” —Oprah Winfrey

Most of the time by developing a daily routine it can help us to feel more in control of our own body, thoughts, and with our daily life. It can make us feel better, physically and emotionally.

Creating new routines and habits, can help us to cope with change, new challenges in our life, and to increase our self-esteem.

From now on, everyday, you are going to put in practice “POSITIVE THOUGHTS”.

You are going to grow your own “POSITIVE THOUGHTS” to nourish yourself, your soul, your mind, your heart and cherish your inner “I AM ” . Because you matter. You are important, worthy, and yourself deserve to feel your love.

Together we are going to create new habits, habits that will bring you closer to your inner goals and a better state of mind. You are going to feel more confident, happy, loved, and day a day you will feel an increase of your own self esteem. Together we are going to repeat everyday:

Source: unsplash.com, Analise Benevides

I AM....

• I AM WORTHY

• I AM STRONG

• I AM ENOUGH

• I AM KIND

• I AM SMART

• I AM BRAVE

• I RESPECT MYSELF

• I AM ME, AND I LOVE ME FOR FOR EXACTLY WHO I AM!

💡 LITTLE REMINDER: Remember! One day we were all here, at step number 1, and it wasn’t easy, sometimes we felt down, or without enough energy, maybe we did even want to quit. BUT you are not alone, you can change those inner negative thoughts and feelings, just take a deep breath, count to 10 and remember why you started this beautiful journey to become the best version of yourself.

YOU GOT THIS!

Learn to be calm in times of stress

MEDITATION

Source: unsplash.com, Jared Rice

Meditation is an ideal way to unwind and refocus. Random hormones, changes to your body and unpredictable emotions can be kept in check with a few moments to yourself. Combine this with self-isolation, little social contact and round-the-clock news, it isn’t surprising you need time to reset.

What is meditation? 🧘🏽‍♀️

The traditional image of meditation is someone sat crossed-legged on the floor, hand resting on their knees, chanting “omm” intermittently. While this is one way to meditate, it isn’t the only way. You can meditate while laying down, in the bath, in the garden or sitting in the sun.

In simple terms, meditation is the concept of trying to focus specifically and clearly on one thing—your breathing, the sounds around you, candlelight or how your skin feels. By meditating you learn to acknowledge your thoughts —the good and the bad, the scary and the fun — and eventually accept them.

“Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you” — Oprah Winfrey

Source: Unsplash.com, Banter Snaps

Meditation TIPS

📌 Try to find the right place and the right moment to start with this new habit.

📌 Wear the most comfortable clothes.

📌 Create a habit for at least 5 min a day to meditate. (Start with 5 min, try how it feels, everyday you can increase 5 more min till you reach a 45 min meditation session).

📌 Set a “relaxing” playlist to get in the mood easily.

📌 Bringing some company along (a good friend, mom/dad, siblings ) can always make the exercises easier and fun!

📌 Aromatic candles can help you to relax, feel calm, energized and help your brain get into a more productive mindset.

NOW LET’S GO FOR IT AND GIVE IT A TRY!

How to meditate step by step

1. Find somewhere relaxing and peaceful. This could be in your favorite chair, in the garden or your house, sitting in front of the beach, or even on a park bench. It should be somewhere you can switch off.

2. Get comfortable. Sit or lie down - you should feel stable (but not stiff) with a solid posture and shoulders rolled back.

3. Close your eyes (if you want to). Focus on your breathing. How are you breathing? Is it slow and shallow or fast and deep?

4. Observe your thoughts. When a new thought creeps in, process it and then release it, without judgement.

5. Be aware of your body. Take your time to adjust to how your body feels. If you move or scratch and itch, think through the action before undertaking it. Be in the moment when you complete the action.

6. Take several minutes. Each time you catch your mind wandering, return to focusing on your breathing.

7. Open your eyes. Take a moment to appreciate how clear your mind is and how your body feels. Take in your environment, thinking of each of your senses (what you can smell and touch). When you are ready get up and continue with your day!

LITTLE REMINDER: Some days may be easier and some days may be more difficult than others. But always REMEMBER that you are not alone in this journey, YOU GOT THIS!

Meditation is a skill

Don’t worry if it doesn’t feel quite right at first. It takes time to learn how to meditate and how to tune your thoughts. You might find that the more you meditate, the more erratic or scary your thoughts become. This is completely normal - spending more time focusing on your thoughts means that emotions you often suppress will be given space to come to the surface. Take your time, relax into and just keep practicing.

Source: unsplash.com, Bekir Dönmez

MEDITATION BENEFITS

📌 Makes you feel happier

📌 Improves your memory

📌 Encourages Mindfulness

📌 Improves concentration

📌 Reduces stress

📌 Makes your feel more grateful

📌 Gives you satisfactory feelings

📌 Helps to control your emotions

📌 Learns you how to tame your mind

📌 Encourages a healthy lifestyle

Have you tried meditating? Or do you already meditate regularly? We would love to hear your experiences!

Dawn Watson & Free a Girl & Book "My Journey Back Home"

In 2015 I met Dawn Watson at an event of Tony Robbins in Florida. More than 5000 people participated at this 5-day event, called "Date with Destiny".

Dawn Watson, also known from the Netflix movie "I am not your Guru", told her heartbreaking story.  She was born in a religious cult, in Brazil. For years Dawn was sexually abused by the men in the cult, called COG "Children of God". 

With this life experience, she now teaches others about forgiveness and explains how they can transform their own pain into power. Her greatest dream is to be able to connect with all the people that have been touched by her story by taking her lectures and courses worldwide.

In her book "My Journey Back Home" she describes how you can connect to yourself. If you want to order her book, click here: 'My Journey Back Home'

Photography: Isabelle Plasmeyer (left) & Dawn Watson (right) at Business Mastery Tony Robbins, in Rotterdam, The Netherlands 

You can help too!

At the beginning of 2018 Dawn and the Dawn Watson Institution started working together with Free A Girl. Free a Girl helps young girls who are abused and used for prostitution. They are active in Bangladesh, Brasil, India, the Netherlands, Nepal and Thailand. The last 9 years more than 4.199 girls were freed. 

For those who want to know more about Dawn, her workshops/events visit Dawn's website.

Dawn Watson, you not only have been through physical pain, but also through spiritual suffering. You did not deserve that! The fact is, out of this painful experience, an unbelievable strenght was born - Tony Robbins

Changing your inner dialogue

Dr. David Simon once said, “Reality is a selective act of attention and interpretation.” According to this view, our attention is what we put our mental focus on—but it is during the interpretation that the intellect analyzes and derives meaning. This interpretation takes place in the form of internal dialogue.

But just what is internal dialogue? Our internal dialogue is the conversation our ego is having with itself. It’s the sub-textual voice that applies logic, reasoning, and beliefs to situations, people, and events. It also serves as a filter for those experiences and colors the way in which we see the world. As such, the internal dialogue plays a vital role in deriving meaning from our life and reality. When our internal dialogue is dark, negative, and dismal, we see a world filtered through those qualities. Conversely, when we have positive, uplifting, and optimistic internal dialogue, we perceive those states as the backdrop of our life.

Photo: Thought Catalog, unsplash.com

How do we change our inner dialogue?

If we want to change anything in our lives, we first need to understand what we are doing 'wrong'! Because we can only learn from our 'mistakes' once we are aware of the fact that we are making them. When you are conscious about the inner dialogue that is going on, then praise yourself. And every time you catch yourself you should give yourself a round of applause. So praise yourself and then ask yourself these questions:

"Do I want to think this or say this to myself?"
"How do I feel when I believe this?"
"How do I behave when I believe this?"
"And what result comes out of this?"

I am sure the answers to these questions are anything except positive. And the bad thing is that when you keep believing this, you will have the same outcome and results every single time. There is nothing wrong with you, but there is something wrong with the stuff you believe. And of course, you have your reasons to believe what you believe. But I am sure, if you Google on the internet, there are people who have been through the same and choose a different pathway, and have different and better results.

So your thoughts create a blueprint (this is like the hardware of a computer) and it stores all beliefs from the day you are born. Some beliefs you still carry with you up until this day. Some are good and some you let go off, like "Santa really exists".

There are also limiting beliefs that cause pain, anger, grieve, frustration, exhaustion and more negativity. Most of you limiting beliefs were 'shaped' after a negative experience was you felt rejected, alone, bullied, stupid and not good enough.

We all have limiting believes...

• I am not smart enough
• My dad does not love me
• It has to be perfect
• Nobody wants me
• I am ugly and fat
• My legs and belly are disgusting
• I must be strong all the time
• I can't share this with anyone
• Making mistakes is stupid

But the good thing is that you can let go of any belief just like you let go of the belief that Santa Claus really comes from the Northpole. 

Every time you notice feeling uncomfortable or unhappy try to research and understand which limiting belief is causing this sensation in your body. Then ask yourself the following 4 questions:

1. - Is my belief true?
2. - Is this belief 100% true?
3. - How do I feel when I believe this thought?
4. - How would I feel when I would not believe this thought?
* Then turn your belief around. 

This Blog is inspired by the amazing women Byron Katie (THE WORK)

 

Dare to dream again, who could you be without your eating disorder?

A person who dreams big is an ordinary person. People who dream are considered unrealistic, stupid even sometimes. What makes dreamers extraordinary is that they find the courage, heart, and discipline to make their dream come true. And even when their dreams do not come through they had the passion to get out of their bed every morning because they were fighting for what they believed in. 

There is define wisdom in you

Within each of us is a core of goodness, wisdom, and heart that has been there from the start. Since the day you are born you are here with a purpose. The problem is that we forget this along the way called life. We experience things, trauma, grieve and we lose hope and our dreams fade away.t we can do the same. As the years go by disappointment and criticism turn into fears, doubts, and anxieties that obscure this essence. Then of course we can’t go out in public with our inadequacies hanging out, so we hide them behind our "I’m happy" mask. I am sure you have a mask like that too. The "I'm just fine" face.

How do we break out?

Soon our spirit becomes hidden, and we can forget that it even exists. How do we break out? Well, the good news is that it doesn’t take years of therapy or 100 self-help books to overcome your eating disorder and/or other self destructive behavior and negative thoughts.

Breaking your self destructive patterns starts with a single thought: "I am fed up, I am done with feeling like this" then ask yourself this question: "How do I want to feel instead?"

Your dream should be so attractive and satisfying that you would do anything to accomplish it. Make a commitment to making it happen. When you do that, a burst of energy will go through your body. You will become unstoppable. Because your commitment doesn’t care about your self-doubt or that you’re too busy. 

Why do you need to dream big?

Because the world needs you to put your talent and gifts to work. The world needs talented, brave, sensitive and good people like you. We know you are because people with eating disorders are generally very sensitive, humble, creative, caring, compassionate and intelligent. The only problem is that they don't see it themselves and will not admit it. But everything and everybody counts. Making your dreams come true is the fastest track to personal transformation and learning to make the next big dream come true.

Stop wasting time by telling yourself you can't do it because...

• I am not intelligent enough

• I do not have the right education

• I am not beautiful enough

• I don't have enough money

• I just can't do it

Playing the victim and pointing the finger is just an excuse. You are allowed to admit and tell yourself (and others) you are scared and insecure. That is all fine. Who isn't? 

When you have to make an important decision in your life, then ask yourself this question: "Which price do I need to pay if I don't change? And what is the price I pay when I change?"

Most of the time, the price you have to "pay" for changing is facing your fears. That's all. On the other hand, the price of not changing is much worse. Because it would mean that you will continue to feel the same day in - day out, you will have an eating disorder forever and you will have to live with your fears forever.

But dreaming is painful and scary...

dreaming can be scary, because what if you fail? What if your dreams will never come true? Most people don't pursue their dreams because they are not able to handle the potential disappointment. Dare to take a risk. Dare to dream without knowing what will happen. Try it anyway. You can not fail, you can only grow and learn. Making mistakes is impossible, you are enrolled in the University called Life. You can not fail.

Remember growth is outside our comfortzone, and growing and learning is painful. But there’s nothing better than the feeling you get when you achieve something you really didn’t think was possible.

IF YOU WANT HELP, CONTACT US TO SCHEDULE your INTAKE.

Mothers with eating disorders

Let us start with the fact that an eating disorder can happen to males and females, and no matter what age you are, mothers can have an eating disorder too. 

How to help yourself when you have children and an eating disorder?

Your eating disorder feels like your second child (or third). It needs attention, it demands lots of attention, and it takes away all of your energy. Why on earth would you keep this "child" when it does not give you anything in return, right?  

Mothers with eating disorders

Being a mum can be very challenging. But being a mum and having an eating disorder as well is even worse. We tend to think of having an eating disorder as a teenage dissease or affliction. And, indeed, in many cases, that's when you first feel it pull. While eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia, are about food and striving for the "perfect body", they are also about perfection, the desire to gain control in an out-of-control situation. An eating disorder can give you the idea (in fact it is an illusion) that you are in control by micromanaging what or how you eat. 

Being a mother is stressful, you have your hands full with clothing your children, feeding them,  changing nappies and making sure they take enough rest, go out for fresh air. Most mothers don't even have the time to shower, put on their make-up, or go to the toilet. 

"The first period after my son was born I never went to the toilet alone. He cried a lot, and it drove me crazy. Sometimes I put him in the stroller, trying to make him sleep. I even went to the toilet pushing the stroller back and forth." (Mary)

You are up around the clock because your child can't sleep through the night
You neglect your partner and other friends because you are exhausted
You can't keep up, and you feel like your failing constantly
You can't even enjoy being a mother because it is so heavy
But you can binge, make yourself skinny or throw up

"I thought that my eating disorder (anorexia) would disappear when having children. In the beginning, I was so in love with my child that it felt like my bulimia was gone. But, after three months after the pregnancy, I was so unhappy with my 'fluffy' belly. My eating disorder came back stronger than ever before." (Susan)

Mothers feel they need to do everything and be everything for their children, their husband, and their job. And if they can't meet their own expectations (most of the time ridiculously high) they feel unsatisfied and like a failure. Some start to eat uncontrollably out of frustration and others starve themselves and get back to their high school weight.

"Many of the anorexic and bulimic moms I see do everything. They work outside the home, they volunteer, they're the ideal parent -- and they're expected to be all that and more without any role models that have gone before them to show them how, since their own mothers weren't typically expected to work outside the home. We're out there, all of us twenty-first century moms, on our own, and we're understandably overwhelmed by all that's expected of us." says Margo Maine, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist specializing in eating disorders and coauthor of The Body Myth: Adult Women and the Pressure to Be Perfect.

Can all mothers develop an eating disorder?

Of course, not all mums develop an eating disorder. Studies on families and twins have suggested that you're twelve times more likely to have anorexia if your relative battled with an eating disorder in the past. And you are four times more likely to develop bulimia if your family member had it too. Basically, you are inheriting a genetic tendency for bulimia or anorexia.

Research has also shown that women who are sensitive to experience anxiety, depression, and obsessive-compulsive behaviors are more vulnerable to develop an eating disorder too.
and for those women, anorexia or bulimia can be triggered by the everyday stress and chaos that comes from raising kids, says Dena Cabrera, a clinical psychiatrist who works with the moms' groups at Remuda Ranch. Another trigger: sleep deprivation, which can contribute to depression and feeling out of control. (source: Parenting.com)

If you want help, please don't hesitate. You don't have to be ashamed. You can get help too. Contact us to schedule your intake.