Changing your inner dialogue

Dr. David Simon once said, “Reality is a selective act of attention and interpretation.” According to this view, our attention is what we put our mental focus on—but it is during the interpretation that the intellect analyzes and derives meaning. This interpretation takes place in the form of internal dialogue.

But just what is internal dialogue? Our internal dialogue is the conversation our ego is having with itself. It’s the sub-textual voice that applies logic, reasoning, and beliefs to situations, people, and events. It also serves as a filter for those experiences and colors the way in which we see the world. As such, the internal dialogue plays a vital role in deriving meaning from our life and reality. When our internal dialogue is dark, negative, and dismal, we see a world filtered through those qualities. Conversely, when we have positive, uplifting, and optimistic internal dialogue, we perceive those states as the backdrop of our life.

Photo: Thought Catalog,

Photo: Thought Catalog,

How do we change our inner dialogue?

If we want to change anything in our lives, we first need to understand what we are doing 'wrong'! Because we can only learn from our 'mistakes' once we are aware of the fact that we are making them. When you are conscious about the inner dialogue that is going on, then praise yourself. And every time you catch yourself you should give yourself a round of applause. So praise yourself and then ask yourself these questions:

"Do I want to think this or say this to myself?"
"How do I feel when I believe this?"
"How do I behave when I believe this?"
"And what result comes out of this?"

I am sure the answers to these questions are anything except positive. And the bad thing is that when you keep believing this, you will have the same outcome and results every single time. There is nothing wrong with you, but there is something wrong with the stuff you believe. And of course, you have your reasons to believe what you believe. But I am sure, if you Google on the internet, there are people who have been through the same and choose a different pathway, and have different and better results.

So your thoughts create a blueprint (this is like the hardware of a computer) and it stores all beliefs from the day you are born. Some beliefs you still carry with you up until this day. Some are good and some you let go off, like "Santa really exists".

There are also limiting beliefs that cause pain, anger, grieve, frustration, exhaustion and more negativity. Most of you limiting beliefs were 'shaped' after a negative experience was you felt rejected, alone, bullied, stupid and not good enough.

We all have limiting believes...

  • I am not smart enough
  • My dad does not love me
  • It has to be perfect
  • Nobody wants me
  • I am ugly and fat
  • My legs and belly are disgusting
  • I must be strong all the time
  • I can't share this with anyone
  • Making mistakes is stupid

But the good thing is that you can let go of any belief just like you let go of the belief that Santa Claus really comes from the Northpole. 

Every time you notice feeling uncomfortable or unhappy try to research and understand which limiting belief is causing this sensation in your body. Then ask yourself the following 4 questions:

1. - Is my belief true?
2. - Is this belief 100% true?
3. - How do I feel when I believe this thought?
4. - How would I feel when I would not believe this thought?
* Then turn your belief around. 

This Blog is inspired by the amazing women Byron Katie (THE WORK)


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