The root of my eating disorder lay in my mind

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Creating a deeper conscious mind

I had an eating disorder from the age of 14 up until… well it’s hard to say because even once I had regained a ‘healthy’ weight, the control patterns still persisted in my mind. So my recovery continued for several years beyond my regain of balanced eating habits. This was a crucial part of my recovery; realising that the root of my disorder lay in my mind, that I couldn’t heal my body and balance myself fully until I had understood and healed my mind. But during my recovery (which took numerous years and involved help from therapists and self-help books in addition to my personal vision of wellness) I realised that I could trace the roots of the eating disorder to a place even deeper than my conscious mind; all the way back to my unconscious, the part of the mind concealed from everyday view.

It was here that my healing work really began.

It was here that my healing work really began. It was the place that, with the help of a hypnotherapist, I took the images I held of myself (a pathetic, bad person who always got things wrong, was always to blame) and transformed them into the image of a healthy goddess, someone who accepted herself and trusted life. Someone who was prepared to let go of fear and an urgent need to control, and instead bathe in the flowing waters of life and become flexible and full of love for her own innocence and humanity.

The shift in my mind

As this deeply held image started to shift, so too did the dialogue in my head and eventually my eating patterns. But it wasn’t always easy, and it took time, persistence and unremitting personal responsibility. I relied on inspiring and encouraging resources such as the fantastic support that Isabelle supplies through her website, literature and counselling. I researched food and nutrition as a way of healing my gastro-intestinal tract and re-learning how to love and respect my body once more. I kept a journal so I could express my emotions and become more aware of my thought processes whilst I learnt to heal. I read positive accounts of other people’s recoveries but perhaps most powerful of all, I found a way to love myself more, to forgive myself, to accept myself and realise I’m just a human being doing my best! And boy I should give myself a break from time to time!

I’m no different than you

In fact I’m no different to anyone reading this blog. And I can reassure you now that with persistence and ever-growing self-acceptance you can heal yourself too, and become that image of health, empowerment and freedom which is no doubt growing stronger in you every day.

Recovering from an eating disorder is a wonderful achievement and I wish you all the best for you journey, and every small step you take along the way. You deserve to live, to grow and to thrive because it is your birth right. Why not take a step towards discovering your full potential today?

Written by: Harriet Catchpole

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